Nov

A Wine Book for Christmas

Ok, so I normally wouldn’t do this…but I recently lied to a friend of mine about reading his wine book, which was recently published.

I also told him I bought 20 copies to give to friends for Christmas.

Which I didn’t.

And, on top of that, he asked me for a review of his book: a no-nonsense, opinion-based description.

In the interest of all things decent, I decided to maintain the lie and wrote this to him:

Eric,

My opinion on your book, um…is that it is just a fantastic read.

Seamless and effortless narration, and I especially loved the symbolic gestures you made toward the civil rights struggle of the 1960s…which you secretly put into the book, thinking no one else would ‘get’ it…

Well, I ‘got’ it Eric, I ‘got’ it…

And, I think Tom Cruise should play you in the movie.

In conclusion…BRAVO! (Thunderous applause, standing ovation.)

Then he recently sent out this mass e-mail about how his book is worthy of some kind of popular award…so now I’ve decided to repent, and push his book, which may or not be full of crap (Eric would say “shit”), but if it’s anything like its author, the book will be as unorthodox as it is entertaining.

At any rate, here is that mass e-mail:

Hi everyone,

Remember when Sascha Baron Cohen was nominated for a Golden Globe for the movie Borat? While some of the more uptight people in the world probably thought that Cohen made a mockery of the art of film, normal people with a bit of intelligence and a sense of humor not only thought that his performance was brilliant, but that he really just deserved a trophy of some kind anyway for allowing a large, naked man to squat on his face.

Though no one has squatted naked on my face for artistic purposes, my book, First Big Crush: The Down and Dirty on Making Great Wine Down Under, has been shortlisted for the Andre Simon Book Award. Run by the Andre Simon Memorial Fund in the UK, this is one of the more prestigious awards that’s handed out every year to the best books in food and wine writing. Past winners in the Wine, Drinks & Beverages category include Hugh Johnson, Jancis Robinson and Oz Clarke, to name a few — all greats of the industry who would probably look at me much the way those southerners looked at Borat when he brought a bag of his excrement to the dinner table.

The winner of the award will be announced in March, and I’m up against some pretty stiff competition, most notably my fellow Scribner author and friend George Taber, who wrote a fantastic book called To Cork or Not to Cork. So I probably won’t win. (Though, to be honest, even if I lose, I still win, since George and I have a bet in which the winner buys the non-winner a bottle of Champagne.) But the fact that I’ve even been nominated is a great honor. Sure, nominees always say that, but it really is true in my case, especially considering that this is just the type of book you’d expect a British judging panel to reject even as kindling for the fireplace in the servants’ quarters. However, if these highly educated and dedicated men and women found as much enjoyment in the book that others have, I like to think that means I did a pretty good job.

Now, this is not the part of the email where I ask you to vote for or harass anyone. The judging is a closed, intensive process in which the panelists thoroughly examine the material. You can’t vote for me or any of the other nominees. And you really can’t bribe the judges with brandy, cigars or your younger sister, much as both I and your sister would appreciate it. This email is just to thank you for all your support, past, present and future. Putting together a book is no easy thing, but gaining support for it is even harder. So I see the nomination as a sign of the encouragement you’ve provided as much as, or more than, the work I actually put into it.

Thanks very much, and hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.

Best,

Eric

Eric’s Web site: www.crusheric.com

The Andre Simon Awards: www.andresimon.co.uk

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