A 2004 Riesling from the German winery, Schloss Schonbörn, in the Rheingau proved to be the perfect pair. This wine had a slight greasiness with a flinty aroma. The body is soft and easy and swirling is unusually fun. Hint of apricots and a lower than average ABV means you can have two glasses before flinging yourself headfirst into a wall of stinky flesh and not lose your cool.

Forget the pennies imagery, come to think of it. Getting on a packed tube feels more like you’re a rusty key being sunk into a bucket of cream cheese. German Riesling with packed public transport: 8.8.

Other runners up include a Verdicchio from central Italy. Verdicchio often look like a chardonnay, but tastes better. In this case the clear, hay yellow hue of the wine was tinted with light green (thus the use of ‘verde’ in its name). The first day it was opened it was crisp and lively, if too tart. The second day all had balanced out. By the fourth day, a day that most chardonnays would spoil by, this Verdicchio tasted like a chardonnay!

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Went into a wine shop after seeing a bottle of Languedoc rosé with Gerard Bertrand’s name on it. Wanted to buy that wine, but the store was out. So, for the same price — £6 — purchased another Gerard Bertrand, a Roussillon. Huh? Exactly. What?

I think it will still sourced from the South of France, only way south, in the Basque regions, because of the tell-tale red and gold striped flag on the label.

The 2006 Sang & Or is tarty and full-bodied. Hint of watermelon. An unpleasant hotness from inharmonious alcohol levels. Smells crisp and delicious, finishes dry, way dry: 8.3, which is good for a rosé.

Come to think of it, a good red wine to chill would be the 2004 Wolf Blass Cabernet Sauvignon, for around £7. Cedar and dill will flourish with a little chill. The hard-nosed alcohol edge and grapiness will diminish:8.5, much better than the 2003, BTW.

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As the days heat up, the sun heralds a rush to the wine shop for ’seasonal’ wines. Rosés, blush wine, chilled whites. Mundo Pinot Grigio.

Well, that will be the first few sentences of every single wine blog out there, people. But not here. White-washed wine writing makes InterWined see red.

Look, you can drink any wine in any weather. Kick around the idea of sloshing a bottle of Brouilly or Pinot Noir in an ice bucket. Or even an Australian Cabernet Sauvignon. Well, actually, that advice is kinda stupid when looked at in reverse: sticking Chardonnay in the oven for Christmas. If that oven isn’t on, and that wine isn’t going in the roasting tin to do whatever it is wine does to the chicken, then it just isn’t right.

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The first guest brought a bottle of 1990 Carpineto Chianti Classico Reserva (primarily Sangiovese grape). Back then it went for $13 bucks, today the bottle is probably worth ten times that. It was ranked at 87 in Wine Spectator by Italy expert James Suckling. And, as usual, he is right: “Very firm and solid with complex berry, mineral and plum character. Full in body and tannins but quite refined and elegant”.

The years have since eroded the full-body and stronger tannic structure, but the wine is now extremely refined and elegant. Also there are mushrooms. Chestnut mushrooms. Probably would score 89 point on the WS scale if tasted today, but as a gift from good friends (who also cooked – spaghetti with grouper and sardines with fennel): 9.3.

Both from Denbies winery, England’s largest, the wines proved perfect for the locally sourced food. The Bacchus (grape) wine from 2004 was crisp with a hint of lemon. Grassy. Long finish. The body was a little heavy, but it was not nearly the train wreck expected. Perhaps bringing such a bad rep to the table made the wine appear more delicious. Doubt it: 8.6.

The pudding wine from Denbies is number one in one regard: the worst wine name, ever. The 2005 Surrey Gold even came in a frosted bottle, leaving the wife to first wonder aloud “who brought the Vodka?” The name, the look – Denbies, work on it.

The wine is just fine. Kinda floral (some jasmine) and easy going. Light and not too syrupy, the funny thing is that the wine finishes dry, when sweet was expected. Individual: 8.4.

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2002 Hawk Crest: The older of the two and ready-to-drink – Strongly Californian. Strong powerful nose, heavy body and a powerhouse finish, though short. A bit roasty-meaty and a bit blackberry. Not complex, but still as pleasing. Thanks for the memories Hawk Crest, but really, considering the nature of wine production, how can you remain so consistent? Curious comment, sure to have its share of detractors: 8.7.

2004 Cousino-Macul Cabernet Sauvignon, Maipo Valley: Other names on the bottle, such as ‘Estate bottled’ and ‘Antiguas Reservas,’ are just smoke and mirrors. Don’t mean it good, don’t mean it bad.

The label says 14% ABV, but the legs walk a 15.5%. Strong alcohol in the aroma confirms. Opened two hours, and the smell is still there. Best opened a day prior, and immediately re-corked. Some caramel and a touch of minty lamb.

The most shocking thing about this wine is likely due to critic-bias (a name InterWined just invented to explain how a wine taster cannot completely discount their own subjectivity based on their own experiences). For example, for reasons best left unexplained and unexplored, the Cousino-Macul smells, and even tastes, vaguely of Hawaiian Punch: 8.6.

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