Sep

InterWined: The Sitcom?

Interwined: episode 1 (note: maybe start every episode with someone involved in the debacle giving some sort of exasperated apology)

Scene opens on older man, grey hair, very proper. He is identified by a label that appears on screen: “Sir Terrance Worthington-Hume, Creative Director, BBC”.

TWH: I don’t think anyone expected it, how could we? We had finally burst that old bubble, we thought to ourselves. I remember even a sort of celebration took place that evening. We cheered each other and said, “we finally found a formula that works.” It was a very exciting time, I remember. I for one, at least was very enthusiastic at the principle that it would be a success, become a success, and carry on for several many seasons.

Fade Out/Fade In

TWH: No, we never saw it coming, except perhaps Martin. We had thought a young handsome man, not too bright of course, could learn… and by doing so others would learn with him and follow and so on and so forth. But when I think what happened [pause, shaking head slightly] not just to those we were force to make redundant because of this… [Really beginning to break down] but those who were… there… with him… I just… [Tears up] Those poor, poor people.

Fade Out to Black

Audio up of Jacob speaking, hustling bustling set-up of camera crew…
Open to Jacob standing in front of a random vineyard, leaning on a trellis of vines yielding ripe grapes… the shot is from Camera 1, beautiful shot.

We hear “Action.”

Jacob: Trellising the vine is necessary in vinification for several reasons. For one the grapes [motioning to grapes], need to be hung out to ripen in such a way that the sun hits it from as many angles as possible ensuring a nice even development of the grape’s sugars and acids to create a wine as harmonious as two toads playing piggyback and leapfrogging on the farm…

We hear “Cut”

Switch to Camera 2, a cheaper look. It is shooting from the eye-perspective of one sitting down. It is someone’s video diary of the event in scene. We see Jacob in front of the camera, as well as Director David Toba and his crew…

Jacob: I’m sorry, what just happened?

David: Jacob, I know we just started cracking on, but you need to stick to script. [Looking at script]

Jacob: Oh yeah, I’m nervous, maybe if I can see myself, what I look like real quick [stutters to sound man] can you set up some rushes or something…

David: He’s sound, so he can’t. [David faces camera 2] Martin can you come over here? [Camera 2 raises, goes over to tighten in on Jacob and David, David turns to Jacob] Listen. It says, ‘as harmonious as a perfectly balanced scale.’ See?

Jacob: [to runner, off screen] butt me. [He is given a cigarette, already lit, placed in mouth by anonymous hand]

David:[Looking at script] You outstretch both arms and add ‘on one side perfect levels of sugar, on the other perfect levels of acid, just one tip in any direction can throw the taste off.’

Jacob: But the two toads, you don’t think?

David: That makes no sense.

Jacob: Have you ever seen two toads leapfrogging on a [David’s expression changes] Ha-ha, just kidding. Of course we will do it this way, Martin’s way, your way. Fine. Let’s do it. Sorry everyone, just getting my grounding… my terroiring as the French would say…

[Camera two goes back to sit, everyone in place and David says “Action”]

Cut back to the pristine shot of camera 1

Jacob: Trellising the vine is necessary in vinification for several reasons. For one the grapes [motioning to grapes], need to be hung out to ripen in such a way that the sun hits it from as many angles as possible ensuring a nice even development of the grape’s sugars and acids to create a wine as harmonious as… [Jacob gets distracted by something behind the crew…] what the… [Walks out of shot]

David: Oh, for the love of…

ROLL INTERWINED INTRODUCTION

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